*Sniff*

Yes, I know ... these "where would I be now if this or that had happened" moods are actually not good.
But ...
Some years ago when I was about to finish my master degree, I started to look for PhD positions and found one which I really liked and at a fantastic location (at least for me). They probably would have taken me IF I had gotten my degree in time (but that was issued a few months later after they couldn't wait anymore because the professor at the old university just couldn't "make" it in time). Funnily enough, they took somebody who wanted to be in the city where I finally ended up to do a PhD (the second position I applied for). And we met accidentally in a pub in the first weeks of my PhD. So basically he would have preferred to be where I was and I would have loved to be where he was ....
I know, not every dream comes true and there was a short time in 2008 when I actually was happy with my PhD and managed to not think about this other position. Until the troubles started which is a different story of course.
I've never met this other PhD student again so I am not sure what he experienced during his PhD and how good/bad the supervision went (I do know that he has a PhD now though - which I have not ... yet).

But that was not all of the story. After a long time of struggle (not with myself but with obstacles in my way namely in the form of people) I managed to hand in a thesis after all and although I suggested other people, one of the two oponents who is evaluating the thesis and will also be present during the disputation would have been one of my supervisors had I gotten that first position.
Yes, you may say that I do not really know him and something might have gone wrong there, too. However,  today, I invited him to the dinner which we will have after the official defense and he wrote me such a nice e-mail wishing me good luck and looking forward to meet me and I feel just like "damn - why couldn't things have turned out differently". I know that I have to move on but it hurts inside ... so much.